Poem – I am free

I Am Free
(c) Geoff Ibbotson 2001

Why can’t I cherish what is here and now?
What drags me back and makes me sink so low?
Why does this weight hang heavy in my heart?
And strangle each new pleasure at its start?

Where do these tears come from?
When will, at last, they end?
I know my past
But how long will it last?

Surely this hold on me
Can’t haunt me all my life?
Despite each try to put it all behind
These pictures of my pain grow stronger in my mind.

And now I’m asked to see again this hell
Yet I am told that this way I’ll do well
So why should distance put me back in charge?
Surely the pain’s still there, real, heavy on my heart.

And yet, you know, that way has made a change
The thing seems different now I’m out of range.
And now, at last, I feel that I’m in charge
Those ghosts and ghoulies don’t seem quite as large.

Though humour seemed so far from such a place
Its presence took that pain right from my face.
At last I realise my own true worth
That has been present from my time of birth

Why did it take so long to find this way?
To break the hold of such a distant day?
And see the future even with some glee
Yes, now I know, that finally …. I’m free